Forbidden Family

I posted the following Comment in support of AdoptAuthor’s post on Nadya Suleman’s doctor, Michael Kamrava, medical license suspended due to gross negligence:

Sorry so late in joining this discussion…Removal of children is a sad solution. Suleman’s children may be acting out, but so are Kate’s children. I agree with one TV psychoanalyst who said we are allowing a whole generation of kids to be self-centered because we have this garbage called Reality TV. That said, more harm than good is done when children are removed from their homes and their parents.

I agree with AdoptAuthor that the doctor who implanted all those embryos should be investigated and charged. He should have been more careful and he should have counseled Nadya better. Someone made the suggestion that he should help pay for their kids’ upkeep. Yes.

There is a fine line for screening for mental illness of recipients of donated gametes. making sure that a mother will “be able to give up the baby” is a pretty biased screening process, and a sick one. It is a set-up to get women to be breeders. I don’t like surrogacy, but I defended Mary Beth Whitehead, the infamous surrogate mother. Why? Because I understood her, and her child.

I’m not sure I understand Nadya. But I defend her rights as the mother of her kids. People who say her kids should be taken away from her do not understand. We have become a very cruel society with the almighty OPINION flung around. Who are we to judge? Why are people so hell bent on crucifying mothers? Punish them by taking their kids away and create further problems? No.

This is a type of witchhunt. People descended on Mary Beth Whitehead in 1987. Even my own minister jumped on the hate bandwagon to dare to speak at church of the “sick mind” of a surrogate mother!

I have a real problem with creating children out of donated sperm, eggs, embryos. This is a very selfish way to have children. But once those kids are created, they are here. Removing them and placing them up for adoption just adds to the stress the kids must cope with.

While the Commentors here (at AdoptAuthor’s website and blogpost: http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2010/01/nadya-suleman-aka-octomom-update.html) are attacking Suleman, why not go after the men who jack-off to porn and get paid to do so, four times per week, for decades, fathering hundreds of children that they aren’t financially responsible for?

How about the college students who read those ads in their college newspapers and then go through three months of fertility treatments so they can donate their eggs, get paid $10,000 to do so to pay for college and “help” the infertile? Well, that’s okay because financially better off husbands and wives are getting those eggs and sperm.

But those parents LIE on the kid’s birth certificates and straight to their kids. They pawn themselves off as the mother and father of children when they know that one or both of them is not the genetic parent! That is truly disgusting! Let’s go after the thousands of parents who do THAT to their children!

How about going after the Snowflake Adoption Agency that specializes in finding “adoptive” homes for “abandoned” embryos? This agency willingly splits up siblings groups – granted they are in embryo form — but the children so created will have to live with the bad decisions made by all of their parents! And there is no adoption because you can’t legally adopt embryos.

In a perfect world, I would abolish adoption, gamete donation and embryo donation. Period. Shame on stupid people who prostitute themselves and give away their gametes for they are not held responsible for creating children they do not want to pay for, or be involved in their lives. Shame on the recipient parents who only want the experience of pregnancy for the sake of creating a family — at the expense of the children.

Kids don’t like being pawns for their parents. Attacking Nadya Suleman is not the solution. She’ll have to face their questions someday.

Kids being punished for the sins of their parents. Enough is enough.

Nadya Suleman has had those kids and she should raise them because she is their mother. Taking her children away from her is not the answer. We only know about her because she is in the news. There are plenty more we don’t know about because they don’t seek public attention.

“One of the big complaints against her is her hospital bills. Would her giving her kids up for adoption resolve that debt?” — How about making the sperm donor father and the fertility clinic pay those bills?

In the end, society loves scapegoats. If it ain’t Suleman, or Kate Goslin, it was Mary Beth Whitehead 23 years ago. Stop attacking the women and start going after the men who control the baby making business.